so far from interesting

the ramblings and adventures of a tightly-wound girl


Posted by k8hinote on March 11, 2015

The “Good Thing I Have Somewhere Else to Express My Thoughts” edition:

1)  Bude’s first sentence came last week and it was…  “The full moon is behind the clouds.”  I nearly died.  Moon.  <3

2)  I stupidly timed my FB hiatus with the final voting phase of the Detroit Music Awards.  This might show that we honestly didn’t expect to be included in that very exclusive club.  Also, for some reason, apparently one is supposed to act like they do not care about such things, but I care.  I think it’s super exciting and I’m so proud of my band and seeing my name among the list of those nominated for Americana Vocalist is nutso to me.

3)  Probably the worst part about not being on FB?  Nobody invites you to anything.  Ironically, this is also the best part about not being on FB, however, there are shows I’d like to have known about.  This is evidence to me that solely relying on FB to promote shows is a poor choice.

4)  The sun is out today and it is absolutely glorious.  I have long been an enemy of the sun, what with my ghostly skin and the fact that I go from pale to burnt in about 10 minutes, but I have developed an admiration and longing for its rays over the last few years that I never thought I was possible.  I’m a believer.

5)  I have been seriously considering traveling to Europe on my own sometime before I turn for 40, or for my 40th birthday next year.  T won’t fly, and it seems too expensive a trip to ask another person to take, so I started to think about doing it by myself and then started to like the idea more and more.  A solitary adventure where I don’t have to accommodate or consider anyone else and can have time for just me?  It just sounds absolutely incredible.  The only thing that makes me think twice, other than the flying, leaving my boys for an extended period of time and the money?  The movie Taken.  For real.

6)  Peaky Blinders (Netflix) is awesome.

7)  I arranged to have a massage day every other week at my office, where a massage therapist comes in and sets up in a dimly lit conference room and a handful of us pay her $1 a minute to give us massages.  For this, I consider myself a genius.

8)  Whenever we finish writing an album, I just stop writing.  I just turn it off.  This means that it has been a while since I worked that muscle and I’m very rusty.  I wrote some lyrics the other night for the first time since finishing the album, out of pure inspiration at that moment, and it felt awesome.  I can’t wait to get back to that.

9)  Thankful for the people that are staying in touch.  This has been a nice change, not feeling compelled to look at my phone every 3 minutes, although now I’ve developed an unhealthy Trivia Crack habit and now I’m just interacting with straight-up strangers.  Pretty sure that’s probably not any better.

10)  Considering getting back into this blogging business.  My friend Noelle’s new blog, scènes et séjours, has reminded me of what I like about having my own place to write and inspired me to get into the real stuff again.

Posted in rambling, things | 3 Comments »

Taking a breather.

Posted by k8hinote on February 28, 2015

So, here’s the thing. This isn’t the cool way to go about this, but I’ve never claimed to be cool, so we’re good there. I’m going to be taking a break from FB after today, and I wanted to say something to the people that are paying attention and will notice that I’m gone because I know how I panic every time someone just vanishes from FB and I didn’t want to do that to anyone. You know why? Because I give way too much of a shit about other people’s feelings on a platform where I’ve found that most others just don’t.

You see, there are things I really enjoy about this whole social networking thing. I love reading about your lives and families and adventures and bands and creative outlets, and I especially love when people really express something that provides insight into who they are, beyond the surface, because for the most part there is really no other means to get to know the lot of you. I also love commiserating, the photos, drunken rants, the funny posts, and being able to share stuff about my band (not just a hobby) with the people that want to hear about it and being able to re-live my shows through FB. I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve come to rely too much on FB to keep in touch with people. I know I’m not alone there, and I’m not criticizing that, but I want to find my way out of that reliance, at least in part, with the people that matter.

What has become increasingly difficult for me to cope with is the access it provides to crazers and bullies, the aggressive public shaming disguised as free speech, alarmingly judgmental self-important my-opinion-is-fact rants, being unexpectedly assaulted by posts of animal cruelty, child abuse, or abuse of any kind, and the absolutely terrifying amount of posts meant to cause fear.   While I respect and appreciate everyone’s right to use FB however they damn well please, and am fascinated with how we can share information now, when I’ve had to hide more people than not because I’ve found myself having hurt feelings or being appalled at someone’s choice to make a certain post, or I’ve realized that actual friends have hidden me (if you don’t like me on FB, you probably don’t actually like me, btw), it’s time to reassess my relationship with FB. I’ve done that, and it’s time to break the cycle. I don’t want to spend another minute of my life annoyed, hurt or offended by something on FB and no, it’s not as easy as just not looking at it so much or not taking it personally or not being so sensitive, because that is who I am. I’m a hyper-sensitive weirdo that has an unhealthy relationship with a fucking social media website. That shit has to change, so I’m changing it. I will be back, probably on lockdown, but I’ll be back. I really admire, respect, and enjoy a lot of you folks and I know I’ll miss a lot of things while I’m gone, even if it is all supposedly meaningless.  To those of you that get it, thanks. To those of you that don’t, it’s okay, you don’t have to. This isn’t about you.

Until next time, which really won’t be that long from now… xoxo

Posted in rambling | 2 Comments »

Too long for a FB post.

Posted by k8hinote on February 4, 2015

There are many things people don’t tell you about parenthood while they are instead telling you what an incredible and rewarding gift it is, and how it is the greatest thing you can do in life and blah, blah, blah…

No one tells you about the constant terror that you’re going to feel about keeping them safe, the challenge it is trying to keep them from being little assholes, the incredible loss of brain function you will personally experience from prolonged exposure to exhaustion and frustration, the way it changes every single aspect of and relationship in your life, for worse and for better.

It is, of course, all worth it, and every single parent will tell you that.  Every.  Single.  One.  Because even though there are totally fucking insane moments that you think “How the hell do we still exist as a species when raising a child is this terrifying and overwhelming and unpredictable?!,” there are also utterly glorious moments where you can’t imagine loving another being so much, your heart feels like it’s going to burst into a million pieces because of how lucky you feel to have made them, to know them, to have felt/saw/heard all the things/moments, that you will feel needed and important in a way you have never known before.

With that said, if someone had told me that I would occasionally (but frequent enough to be notable) be covered in spontaneous and unexplained vomit, or about the throwing phase, or that I would never feel rested again… I may not have done this.

I guess that makes me glad no one told me.


Posted in human growing, Nolan, rambling | Leave a Comment »

2013. The final battle.

Posted by k8hinote on December 31, 2013

It seemed fitting this morning that 2013 would get in one last kick in the teeth when life (and weather) interfered with me finally doing something just for me during this time I’ve taken off from work.  I was actually waiting for it.  I woke up 10 minutes later than I’d meant to and made a very tightly scheduled trip to acupuncture impossible.  I made up time (by skipping washing my face and not really letting my old, tired and determined ’98 Subaru Forrester warm up) and would have been on the road only 5 minutes later than I’d wanted (intending to be early), but the inclement weather and dead tires added far more drive time than I’d allotted.  I scheduled three Acunaps in the last ten days and only ended up making it to one of them.

Chaos.  Not enough hours in the day and never enough sleep.  Ever.

I’ve been racking my brain, and perusing the various archives of my documented existence, trying to determine if there is a year that can top 2013 in terms of disappointments, annoyances, pains in my ass, and just general suck.  2012, though one of the best years for the Bloofs and epic because of pregnancy and Nolan, was certainly no picnic.  2013 was way more brutal than that, and I think may have even beaten out 2010 for most challenging year of my adult life.   I won’t summarize the various nonsense that took place because in the end, I made it out from under a lot of it, it’s behind us and all there is to do is move forward.

I’ll take a minute to focus on some positive, because there seems to be enough negative to fill a thousand posts, songs, and feeds.

Nolan.  Nolan is 16 months old at the time of this post.  16 months and 5 days to be exact.  He’s amazing and I’m so in love with him that it’s simultaneously overwhelming, terrifying and wonderful.  I’m in awe every time I look at him, and feel so grateful to have an insanely adorable, healthy, and funny kid.  With that said, he is super needy and kind of a dick.  He’s a baby.  He’s fucking demanding and shitty, he hits and he throws things and cries for seemingly no reason.  Granted, while the comfort cuddles can be frustrating and sad, it is also truly gratifying to be able to so easily (at times) ease someone’s pain or discomfort.  In the last few days he’s taken to thrashing and crying when I go to change his diaper. Not every time, but enough to make normally mundane diaper changes into an event.  As soon as it’s over, he’s totally fine.  I’m assuming this has something to do with the fact that he’s also trying to cut down to one nap and he’s been overtired.  Today was the first day in four or five days that I got him down for his nap without issue.  He’s not really reliable.  I cannot prepare for what each day will bring with this kid.  At times that’s awesome and exciting, but it’s also chaotic.  We know how I feel about chaos.  Not a fan.

But yeah.  Nolan.  He’s a positive.  I love the shit out of him and it’s a spectacular thing seeing a human grow before your eyes daily.

Had an interesting year with my Bloofs, including the best Blowout show we’ve ever played after years of not being included, our super fun weekend with The Lost Patrol including our show at TLT in June, a fairly epic fail (Chicago), and of course… the commercial.  That was crazy exciting.  In general, I had a lot of fun as a Bloof this year and met quite a few wonderful people in the process.

Oh yeah.  That brings me to something.  People.  I want 2014 to be the year that I see people again.  Other than my co-workers and the people that live in my house, I see almost no one.  I used to have girl dates with some regularity and it seems like forever since I had a proper one.  A friend posted that she wished she’d spent more time with her girlfriends in 2013, and I feel the same way.  Very much so.  Girl dates keep me sane, inspire me, encourage me and just generally keep me from setting things on fire… for the most part.

Lastly, I want to set one actual, real deal New Year’s resolution.  I never do that.  In 2014 I want to get more organized.  There are countless things causing chaos in my life lately, so I want to find my way back to my Virgo roots and organize the shit out of what I can.

There you have it.  From my couch, New Year’s Eve 2013.  2013 was hard.  2014 will be better because I say so.

I will own you 2014.

Posted in Nolan, rambling, reminiscing, the band | 1 Comment »

One Last Post… after way too long.

Posted by k8hinote on June 16, 2013

Three months since I’ve written.  That’s too long.

I don’t particularly have time right now to even be typing this.  I should be folding laundry, working on music, putting boxes of shoes away, scrubbing the counter, or any number of other more productive things, but I figured I’d make the time just once more…  to say goodbye to this blog.  To be honest, I don’t even have time for a proper goodbye.

This is the 250th blog post I’ve made and next month marks the 6 year anniversary of when I quit Livejournal (which I barely remember now, but feel the need to go back and read my archive of it) and moved over here because something stupid happened on LJ that annoyed me enough to not want to participate in it anymore.

Since my last post, and about two months ago, we have moved into our new house in Warren, though it still feels a bit like crashing at someone else’s house still.  Moving and the prep to move were total chaos, and not without assloads of drama.  It seemed crazed and rushed and soul-crushing a lot of the time and I’m glad it’s over.  We packed up 10 years of our life, a baby, three cats and a dog, and took a big leap in this new chapter.  We hired, enlisted and bartered with people/family to replace all of the carpet, refinish the wood floors in two rooms, replace/repair plugs and switches, and repair and paint every room in this house, except for the bathrooms… which have since been painted.  The transformation was somewhat miraculous, but we have a long way to go and are now in a committed relationship with Lowe’s.  The list of things that we still need to do, most of which we are not capable of doing ourselves and will require large sums of money over a very long period of time, is overwhelming at best.  Still…  more room for Nolan to play, a deck, a garage, a yard, better schools, better neighborhood…

The Bloofs have played three shows since my last post: Duende!’s LP Release at the Old Miami (where Tony and I joined Duende! for their set closer, “Murder Doesn’t Hide The Truth”), the MetroTimes Blowout (for the first time since 2010), and hosting our friends The Lost Patrol, from NYC, at The Loving Touch with Fur, who shocked the scene by announcing that the show would be their last… indefinitely.  I’m looking forward to seeing what those cats have up next amongst them.  What’s next for The Blueflowers, you ask?  Okay, maybe you didn’t, but I’m gonna tell you anyway.  We’ve got shows lined up this summer and are hoping to get a photo shoot and video shoot in there somewhere as well.  We’d also like to hit the road by the end of the year for at least one out of town show.  The out of town show seems like a stretch for me, since things have proven quite challenging with Nolan in the mix (he figured out how to take his noise-cancelling headphones off immediately), but we are finding our way.  One thing is for certain, we will be working on some new material, and perhaps an EP.  Oh, how I love that part of the process.


Tony takes all the best pictures – The Bude, 9 months

As for Nolan…  I could spend hours writing about how fascinated I am by him and how desperate I feel to do right by him.  He’s 9 1/2 months at the time of this post and he’s recently gotten his first tooth, started pulling himself up on things, and regularly saying “daddy”.  His laugh is the most rewarding and delightful sound in my life, especially because I don’t have to work all that hard for it.  He looks just like Tony, I admit it, but there’s some Hinote in there for sure.

In so many ways it seems like he just got here and I just went through all of that.  In others, it is flying by so fast and I can’t believe he’ll be a year old in just a couple of months.  I was telling Mollie from TLP all about my pregnancy, labor and delivery and while she could barely listen to me talk about it, it’s now borderline hilarious to me how insane that experience is/was.  What’s interesting is that I wouldn’t mind going through it again now that I know what you get and that there is no love like the love for your child.

I think that about sums up where I’m at as I wrap this blog up.  When I started this, I needed an outlet for my thoughts.  While I’m sure I still need that, I am going to try to channel that energy into songwriting.  That’s probably what I should have been doing all along.  My plan is to leave this up until next month (the actual 6 year anniversary) and then it’ll be just for me.  I can’t say I won’t return to blogging somewhere down the road, but FB gives me enough of an outlet to satisfy my need to spew thoughts publicly and I like to think I have some control over who has access to me, but perhaps that’s foolish.

I was looking up some stats, and here are a few highlights:

The first post:  A Fresh Start

Here are the Top Five, at least as far as views:

Pregnant at 35 (or How I learned to Hate the Medical Community)
French Lentil Soup
The Basics
Baby Nolan is Here
Me and Bananas

Some posts I am particularly proud of:

Why I do it, even though sometimes it’s brutal
More or less connected
Daddy Issues
A Grand Day Out… in the D
Being One-Half of a Songwriting Duo
Let’s Be Honest

Most popular Category:  Recipe

All of the “Things” posts:  Things


Thank you to everyone that’s paid even the slightest amount of attention to this blog and interacted with me on it.  Though that wasn’t why I wrote, it is far more satisfying to know that people (even a few) are taking the time to read the thoughts I spent so much time getting down.

See you elsewhere on the internets, friends…


Things (the “Final Ramble and Rant” edition):

1)   If I call you and you don’t answer, but then text me back right away asking what’s up…  I want to punch you.  Just FYI.  If I call instead of text, please trust that there was a good reason.

2)  I long for silence.  I can’t even tell you…  I drove to IKEA not long ago, mostly because I needed the 45 minutes of quiet.

3)  Potential book titles if I ever write one, because they’re too long to be song titles:  “In Case You Don’t Know What an Asshole You Are, Let Me Tell You All About It”, and “Mother of the Year:  How Facebook Helped Me Raise My Son”

4)  According to multiple sources, I have the cutest baby ever.  Mine.  All mine.  My baby!

5)  You know how when you’re little, you go through a phase of wishing you had a different name?  The name I coveted was Joanna.

6)  It’s interesting that, at least in my experience, when you become less attractive… people actually make a point to tell you that you’re pretty more often.

7)  I don’t mind my  post-baby body… until I see it photographed.  I have a mirror that Nan and I refer to as “the super model mirror”.  This is a double-edged sword.  I need to lose about 30 lbs. at this point…  a daunting task to say the least.

8)  Erma’s Frozen Custard (Chocolate Waffle Cone dipped in butterscotch) will change your life.

9)  Please don’t eat “diet” food.  Please.

10)  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Posted in human growing, Nolan, rambling, reminiscing, the band, things | 4 Comments »

Flash of life.

Posted by k8hinote on March 17, 2013

Amazing.  Another two months have zoomed  by since I posted.   I haven’t sat down to write, well, since my last post.  I don’t have free time anymore.  Period.  I love him, but I miss being able to come and go as I please and essentially do whatever I want.

Even typing the above paragraph took 5 minutes because I kept having to get up to put him back on his back because he keeps rolling over onto his stomach and can’t roll back, and it’s time for bed.  Which brings me to… why the hell won’t my kid sleep when he’s tired?  Seriously, dude.  You’re tired, you sleep.  It’s simple.  Of course, I do actually know the answer to this.  He’s either overtired or overstimulated or too excited to practice whatever trick he learned or mastered that day, or he wants to hang out with us, or any one of what seem to be a million reasons that babies turn their parents into sleepwalking disasters waiting to happen.

[Cut to 2 weeks later, when I finally got back to finishing this post, and Nolan has mastered rolling from his stomach to his back…]

Onto an actual update.

We are moving in the very near future.  We are attempting the short sale process with my house because it is so far under water that there is no other way out than to walk away, which I have always said I would not do.  We are essentially being gifted Tony’s folks’ house, which is about 3 miles from here.  It’s much more house, with a back yard, garage and deck, and in a better school district; and once we do a lot of work to it, I can completely envision it as our home and the house that Nolan will grow up in.  We have a good friend working on some repairs and painting and it’s already transformed quite a bit, though the work has just begun. We are having new carpet put in a few rooms, and throughout the rest of the house there are hardwood floors that will look amazing when we can afford to refinish them.  There’s some massive construction I want to do, but I’m trying to be patient and remind myself that this will be my home now… there will be time and money in the next few years to make improvements and upgrades. So far I hate one of the colors I picked out, but I think, otherwise, we’re going to be in good shape when we move in.

I’m really going to miss this house.  This was my first house and we’ve lived here for 10 years.  We’ve made a lot of memories here and even though we’re out of room and the neighborhood has gone to shit, I’d have stayed here.  It’s comfortable and familiar and mine.  I am excited for all the things about our new house that I mentioned above, as well as: more room for us to spread out, more room for entertaining, a place to put a grill and a yard for Nolan to play in, and much more, but still… this is my home.  Leaving it is going to be brutal.  Tony, on the other hand, is going to be fleeing like it’s a crime scene when the time comes.  He can’t wait to get out of here.

Well, I’m out of time for this update, but I’ve been alluding to this big change for a while on FB and thought I’d give some details.

This is my 249th blog post.  July will mark the 6 year anniversary of this blog.    Wow.  I could stop now and end on a nice round number, or I could shoot for a higher number as a goal… Hmmm…

Until next time…

Posted in human growing, Nolan, rambling | Leave a Comment »

Still here.

Posted by k8hinote on December 29, 2012

I’m pretty sure I’ve always done a year end blog.  When I sat down to start on this one, my original intent was to say goodbye to this blog.  I obviously don’t have time for it, seeing how it’s been 2 1/2 months since I last posted.  Once I logged in and started reading through some posts, I realized that I’m not ready to call it quits yet.  I may just have to lower my expectations for its upkeep.  I’d like to get back to posting some recipes and things, along with shorter, more topic specific posts, so that will be my goal for next year.  You heard it here.


NoNo’s Baby

Nolan is 4 months old now.  Can you believe that shit?  I can’t.  Part of me is terrified by how fast it’s going, and the other part of me is insanely impatient waiting for him to be ready for solids, say a consonant (we’re working on “B”, by repeating “buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buddy!” in his face), crawl, reach for me, etc.  I’d also like the spitting up and baby frenzy to stop, but I do find myself becoming desensitized to those things.  He has rolled over once (at Nonnie’s on Christmas), stands when you’re holding him, lifts his head up when he’s on his belly, sleeps through the night, pinches, babbles all the time, laughs and smiles a lot, and just generally rules.  We’re looking forward to introducing solids (at Dr. Erin’s recommendation) in the next month or so, and whatever else we’ve got in store for us…  except teething.  Not looking forward to that and, in fact, I think he might be doing a little bit of that already.  I only got him two presents for Christmas:  A Melissa & Doug grabber toy thing, and a rattle that is now his baby.  I really wish my iPhone had a night vision lens for the camera, so I could take a picture of him sleeping with it at night, but I like this photo from Christmas morning, after we’d just given it to him.  He’s my handsome little man.

We’re working towards a routine, which is pretty in place now (with some exceptions), and I’ve adjusted to being back at work, though I’m always a little mopey at the end of the week when I start to feel like I’ve barely seen him.   Work is kicking my ass as always (that’s what happens when your workload is the equivalent of four people’s), but it makes the days fly by and at least I’m good at my job.  Having a kid has definitely changed my priorities, but I still give more to my job than a lot of other people do.  It’s just how I’m built.  I’ll never be someone that just puts in the bare minimum to get their paycheck.  That’s the only reason I’ve gotten as far as I have in my field.

The Blueflowers - Live at The Berkley Front on December 8, 2012

The Blueflowers – Live at The Berkley Front on December 8, 2012 – photo courtesy of Juliet Bell

In Bloofs news, our first show back was just a few weeks ago at the Berkley Front and we had a great time.  NoNo decided he didn’t want to go to bed, so when Ann got here to watch him (he was supposed to be already sleeping when she got here), she found me half naked, sitting in the glider just inside our front door (because we have nowhere else to put it), bawling, holding a screaming Nolan.  The fact that she didn’t turn around and walk out is amazing.  Instead, she grabbed him up, so I could get ready and get out the door.  He calmed down as soon as she took him.  We had a great crowd that night, though not that many of our regular crowd, and I think we pulled off a good set considering we were slightly under-rehearsed.  Two cool things that happened:  1) There was one couple that came solely because they heard Ann Delisi plug our show earlier that day.  :: high fives Ann ::  We are so lucky to have her on our side.  2)  We closed with “Surrender”, our Elvis cover and my favorite thing to sing in our set, and I always hold the last note as long as I possibly can.    On this occasion, I could have kept going even after the song ended.  I’m convinced that shushing my baby to sleep (long, sustained “sssshhhhhhhhhhh”s) has helped me get my breathe support back.  It was almost entirely gone by the end of my pregnancy.


The Blueflowers at the DIA on June 4, 2012 – photo courtesy of Shane Dietrich

Other than that, we don’t have much going on for a couple of months, unless somebody feels like putting a show together.  I’m considering putting a plea up on my FB page, reminding people that we are here and can support bills in a wide variety of genres.  I get so sad when I see these big multi-band events that we were not only not invited to play, but I didn’t know existed until it was already booked and I’m seeing the flyer with what seems like every band I know on it.  It reminds me that I’m really not a part of “the scene” and makes the sentiment “it’s all in who you know” really ring true.   I’m confident and optimistic that 2013 will bring lots of Bloof adventures, including a show somewhere other than Metro Detroit, I hope.  We really did have an awesome year and I’m so proud of what we accomplished with Stealing The Moon.  For me personally, other than Nolan, it feels like my greatest accomplishment.  I put all of my guts into those vocals.  All of them.  Plus, I was ginormously pregnant during the recording, so I will always think of that when listening to it.  Highlights for the Bloofs this year were making the video for “Hole of Sorrow”, the show at the DIA and, of course, our CD Release at the Magic Bag with Crashing Cairo and The Lost Patrol.   Those were magical moments.

So, this isn’t really the year in review or a year end wrap-up, so much as it’s just another blog post, I suppose.  I couldn’t even do a top albums of 2012 if I wanted to.  I barely listened to anything new, except for maybe Mumford & Sons and Florence.  2012 was shitty to a lot of people, and they are no doubt happy to see it go.  There was plenty of bullshit for me, but anything it dished out was all a wash because of Nolan.  My life changed in the most amazing way in 2012.  This Mommy business is, by far, the most challenging, stressful, exhausting, amazingly beautiful adventure that I have ever embarked on.  I can’t wait to see what else it brings.

Posted in Christmas, human growing, Nolan, rambling, reminiscing, the band, work | Leave a Comment »

While Nolan is Sleeping

Posted by k8hinote on October 16, 2012

As you might have guessed, I haven’t had much time for blogging (or other creative outlets) since becoming a mother.  It’s still all very new, and while I’m hoping I have more time for it in the future, right now I have a hungry (every 2-3 hours ’round the clock) little dude on my hands, who is of the fussier variety.  We’re not talking colic level of fussiness, but still…  if he’s hungry and there isn’t a boob in his face within three seconds, you can pretty much count on a frenzy.  The good thing is that a boob in his face will pretty much immediately soothe him, no matter what is bothering him.  The problem I was having for the first 6 weeks was knowing when he was, in fact, hungry, or just overly tired.  He fights sleep like a champ.  Because of my misreading his cues, he has fattened up quite nicely.

I’m going back to work in less than a week (:: shudder ::) and I know my time for things like blogging and dicking around on the computer will be diminished.  So, while Nolan is sleeping and I’m scarfing down a Living Zen Organics Kale Salad  that I got on our successful outing to Eastern Market today (yum! and yay!), I thought I’d try to get something down.

My friend, Emily, came over this afternoon to see Baby NoNo and, in addition to helping me with a massive blowout that went up Nolan’s back and out the side of his diaper on to me, was helping me come up with some ways to cope with going back to work.  We made lists and schedules and talked about what I’m most afraid of.  I listed things like guilt, my supply going down (having to supplement with formula), and Tony not doing things the way I want him to (though I know in my brainhole that they will both be fine), but I think what I’m most afraid of, and I realize it is totally selfish, is no longer being Nolan’s favorite person on the planet.  Just writing it down overwhelms me.  As tired as I am, and as frustrated as I get trying to figure out why he’s crying for seemingly no reason, I’m not ready to leave the bubble yet.  I feel like if I could just have one more month, then I might be ready.  Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to see him change/grow and watch him meet his milestones.  I can’t wait for the first time he reaches for me or says “Mommy”, the first time he hugs me or tells me he loves me, even if he doesn’t know that he means it.  I can’t wait to go on adventures with him, like his first trip to the zoo, his first movie in a movie theater, or our first trip to NYC (that WILL happen before he is five years old).  All of that can wait though.  I’m not ready to leave him.  I’m just not.

He is 7 weeks old as of this past Sunday.  I can usually make him smile, and almost laugh, without too much effort.  I get excited when he holds his head up for a little bit, albeit a little wobbly still, knowing that is going to make things easier on everyone.  He stares at us now and maintains eye contact as we leave or cross the room, almost as if he is suspicious of us.  He likes the sound of daddy’s unamplified guitar and appeared to be mesmerized when we ran through a few songs the other night with him in my arms.  He has gained over three pounds since he was born.  A lot of the times when I pick him up, he pushes off with his chubby legs.

I’m finally good at changing diapers.  I think his eyes are going to be brown.  My reflex every time he spits up on me and it goes down my shirt is still to yell.  I haven’t accidentally put my thumb in his fontanelle in at least two weeks.  I constantly worry about disappointing him.  I have so many plans for him and for us as a family.  I’m enjoying watching Tony adjust to his new job as father.

And now he stirs.  I can hear him breathing, squeaking and squirming over there in the super fancy swing that the Mayners loaned us.  It’s been 3 hours since I last started feeding him, so I know what he’ll want as soon as his eyes open.  This is the longest nap he’s taken in over a week, so thanks Nolan.  Thanks for letting Mommy have some time to write, do some laundry, relax for a second and eat dinner.  You’re dinner is ready when you are.

I’m not ready to leave the bubble.  Not at all.

Posted in human growing, Nolan, rambling | Tagged: | 9 Comments »

Things (the “taking a minute to write” edition)

Posted by k8hinote on September 29, 2012

1)  Tony helped me finagle a way to be able to type while I nurse Nolan.  It’s not exactly comfortable yet, but it’s a start.  If we hadn’t figured this out, I was going to go crazy during this growth spurt.

2)  Speaking of growth spurt…  Nolan has gone from eating every 3 to 3 1/2 hours and always sleeping after nursing, to eating every 2 hours (if that) and never sleeping.  He had some long naps last night, but didn’t sleep all day today or much yesterday. Late this afternoon he finally fell asleep (for real, not the kind where he wakes up as soon as you move him) and we cuddled and got a 2+ hour nap.  It was excellent, but up until yesterday it was common… as opposed to rare.  I hope it goes back to common in the not too distant future.  Sometimes it seems like it’s really hard for him to wake up, and I’m wondering if that’s why he fights sleep, because it’s hard for him to wake up.  I don’t know.  I’m sure he’s not aware that it’s hard for him to wake up.

3)  Netflix has been essential for night nursing.  First, I watched Season 8 of Grey’s Anatomy since I had kind of lost interest in it a couple of years ago and stopped watching it.  Then I started re-watching Ally McBeal, which I haven’t watched since it originally aired.  Man, that show was stupid.  I’m still hooked because it’s all about relationships and Ally’s debilitating (yet somehow charming) need to connect and find love.  Plus, I love the random singing and dancing.

4)  I’m probably going to have to go back to work in three weeks, which makes me crazy sad.  We are not going to be ready for that.  I wanted to take 12 weeks but, as I’ve mentioned before and everyone knows, maternity leave in this country sucks donkey balls.  The fact that maternity leave is covered under short-term disability insurance is not only ridiculous, it’s offensive.  Short-term disability insurance is what is paying me for 4 weeks at 60% of my pay.  The thing that screwed me over was that even though it said everywhere that I would get 6 weeks at the reduced rate, it’s actually only 4 weeks because you have to be “disabled” for two weeks before your “benefit” kicks in.  I kept saying to the indifferent lady from the insurance company on the other end of the phone that that means that it’s only a 4 week benefit.  She insisted it is a 6 week benefit and that most people use vacation time for the first two weeks.  Well, no one told me anything about that, so I obviously didn’t know.  I only have two weeks vacation, so if I used that, I’d have 7 personal days to last me until next August.  With a newborn, that seems like a bad idea, so I asked them to pay me a week’s vacation.  That helped a little.  On top of that, the alternator on my car went.  That was a $400 repair I wasn’t anticipating that really jacked up the plan.  I’m already feeling mommy guilt just thinking about it.  I think I’m going to have to come home at lunch every day to feed him in the beginning, so hopefully that makes the transition a little easier.

5)  My friends in Duende! asked me to sing on a song for their upcoming album.  It’s really my first collaboration and I enjoyed it a lot.  Their process is totally different than ours, so it was awesome to experience that and be able to sing what someone else created.  I did get to write a bridge for the song, and of course added my own little take on the vocals, so I do feel like I added to it, other than just being the one singing it.  I’m really happy with how it turned out and am super stoked for people to hear it.  I’m supposed to be doing some more collaborating with another friend of mine, but I’ll give more details about that when there are some to share.

6)  The Blueflowers have a show booked in December (so much for a hiatus until 2013) and we’re starting rehearsals again next weekend.  Things will definitely be different because of our new family, but we will still be writing songs, recording them and playing shows.  I’m optimistic that we’ll get offered some opportunities that we were overlooked for last year, and we’ve got an album to promote plus a couple of other ideas in the works, so I do anticipate it will be full speed ahead come 2013.

7)  My sweet tooth during pregnancy has run over into post-pregnancy.  I’ve always liked sweets, but I can’t get enough now.  There are multiple times throughout the day now that I get actively irritated that I don’t have chocolate or ice cream within arm’s reach of me.  This is not going to bode well for losing the rest of this baby weight.  Ugh.

Posted in Nolan, rambling, things, work | Leave a Comment »

Baby Nolan is here!

Posted by k8hinote on September 7, 2012

I had no idea how little time I would have for pretty much anything once I had a newborn in my life.  No idea.  I went from spending hours a day with my laptop on my lap (even after spending 8+ hours a day in front of dual monitors at work) to having only opened it twice since we’ve been home from the hospital.  All I could manage to do was post a couple of photos from my phone, just so people knew I was still here and there was a tiny human in my life now.

Baby Nolan departed my womb on August 26, 2012 at 8:46 p.m. and he and I both worked really hard for him to get here.  While I was pregnant, I asked a lot of people to tell me their birth stories. I found all of them fascinating, and I’m very excited to put mine into words.  There is serious drama and I know it won’t all paint me in a favorable light, but I got him here and that’s what matters.

I’m going to start with sharing a little about what I wanted for my only child’s arrival into this world and I want to make sure it is 100% clear that I do not judge other people’s choices.  These are choices I had made for myself and my baby.  It has nothing to do with what other people think is perfectly fine or normal or okay.  I knew what I wanted.  There are things about the current labor and delivery assembly line in this country that really upset me and I wanted no part of it.  As you can imagine, and as I was repeatedly warned, almost nothing went according to plan.

We made a birth plan.  I wanted minimal medical intervention.  I wanted a natural vaginal delivery without drugs.  More than anything, I did not want a c-section.  I switched hospitals in the beginning because my former hospital system has the highest c-section rate in the state.  This was VERY important to me.  I’m not going to get into why, but please believe that I understand the necessity of a c-section in certain scenarios and I understand that shit happens, but I think c-sections are grossly overused because doctors are afraid of being sued.  It’s a sad reality.  As so many people say, all that matters is getting your baby here safe and sound.  The second most important thing to me was no Pitocin.  For anyone reading this that doesn’t know what Pitocin is, it’s a medicine that is given to women in various stages of labor, typically if it has stalled or just to move it along if the doctor doesn’t feel like waiting.  I’d bet money it’s used in like 90% of labors, but I have no idea what the actual statistic is.  The normal labor and delivery assembly line has now become induction (with a pill called cytotec), Pitocin (because even though labor was “induced”, the body and baby weren’t ready so things have to artificially be moved along, epidural (what is commonly referred to as “the drugs”), and eventually c-section.  Obviously, this does not happen to everyone, but I’d say 8 out of the 10 birth stories I’ve heard went this way.  As further example, there were 8 births in the hospital the day I delivered, and I was only one that didn’t have a c-section.

So let’s get to my story.  I am not going to tone it down for your benefit.  It is totally TMI, so proceed with caution.

Early Labor:

Pretty sure that’s a smile.

On Saturday, August 25th, at around 8:00 p.m., my water broke.  I had been hardcore nesting that whole day and the night before, putting together a stroller and finishing the nursery so that I’d feel slightly more prepared for his arrival.  I finally laid down around 6p or so and didn’t move because I was so exhausted.  When I got up to pee at 8p, I thought my biggest fear had come true… I thought I had peed my pants.  I quickly realized, after smelling my underwear (yes, smelling my underwear), that there was a good chance my water had broke… two weeks early.   I was not ready.  Not ready at all.  Tony had been getting increasingly anxious for him to get here, but I wanted Nolan to cook until the very end and I was scared as shit to actually go through labor.

After discussing with my doula, Vanessa, and massively being in denial about what was happening, about an hour and a half later…  mild contractions started.  I knew at this point that my water had broken.  I called the hospital and was told to come in by midnight.  Again…  I felt far from ready, but the clock had started ticking.

We arrived shortly after midnight and I was examined by the midwife.  After testing a drop of the fluid she found, she determined that it wasn’t amniotic fluid, but based on my description of events and the fact that I was having some contractions, she said I had a “good story” and she did an ultrasound and confirmed that there were pockets of water, but Nolan wasn’t surrounded by water, and I had likely “sprung a leak” from the top.  At that point, they couldn’t let me leave.  I was going to have my baby within 24 hours.  I was only dilated to 1.5 cm, so she recommended cytotec and Pitocin.  I declined both.  They took us to our room and I was told to get some rest.  LOL.  I didn’t sleep at all.

Active Labor:

The contractions started to pick up around 5a.  I texted Vanessa to be there by 8a, and when she got there I thought I was in the thick of it.  Bahahahahaha…  I obviously had no idea what was coming.  Each contraction was fairly brutal, but short and about 3 minutes apart.    I was breathing through them, with the help of some squeezing of Vanessa or Tony’s hand.  By 12p, I had gotten in the jacuzzi tub, all modesty completely gone and my potty mouth in full swing.  They determined after one of several exams, that Nolan had become posterior and I was having back labor, meaning his spine was on my spine, which was what was making the pain more severe.  At this point, I was full blown Hee-Hee-Hee-Hooing through each contraction and I was absolutely horrified at the thought of this continuing.  I was yelling things like “I fucking hate this” and “This is awful” and “I’m done”.  Vanessa told me I was doing what I had wanted and encouraged me to keep going and told me I was amazing.  I did not feel amazing.  At around 3p, after an hour of saying I was done, I had them do an exam to see where I was at and I was only at a 5.  I knew that meant many hours more of contractions and I asked for the epidural.  It had been about 6 hours of the worst pain I’d ever experienced, and I felt insanely guilty for giving into “the drugs”.  I should have been able to do it.  I could have done it, but I pussed out.  The only thing that made me feel justified was that I hadn’t slept in about 30 hours at this point and hadn’t had anything to eat in almost 24 hours.  I knew there was no way I was going to have the energy to push him out, and let me remind you that the most important thing to me was delivering my baby vaginally.

My favorite picture so far. He looks like an angry old man!

Every time I made any decision about anything, it took them forever to do anything about it.  Once I decided I wanted the epidural, it took them 30 minutes or more to actually get the anesthesiologist to my room to do it.  Getting the epidural was a whole other horror story.  Tony opted for leaving the room at this point, and I can’t blame him.  My contractions were about a minute apart at this point.  On the anesthesiologist’s first attempt, he hit something totally wrong and it was insanely uncomfortable.  I had become a total bitch at this point and was not taking any shit from anyone.  He insisted he had it in right and I insisted he didn’t and made him take it out.  Tony was apparently approaching the room right at the moment that I yelled “It fucking hurts!” and various other shouting.  While I’m confident that what I was experiencing was far more horrifying, I can only imagine how horrifying it is to hear/see someone you love going through this experience and only being able to offer so much help to them.  He was a real trooper throughout the process and by my side through most of it, providing sips of water and a hand to squeeze and counter-pressure on my hips or back.  On the anesthesiologist’s second attempt, he kept telling me to stay still…  during a contraction.  Um…  are you fucking kidding me?  This is where I decided that only woman who have experienced labor pains should be allowed to be present during labor.  Men have no clue what is going on and what they are asking.  He got it in right the second time and the nurse put in a catheter since I was now on IV fluids and the goal was to make it so I couldn’t feel my legs.  This was also when the blood pressure cuff went on and started taking my blood pressure every two minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10 minutes.  I hated that blood pressure cuff more than anything and it was on me, squeezing away, until the next morning.  It took about 20 minutes for me to feel any relief from the epidural, but it still wasn’t as much as I or they wanted, so they gave me an additional dose of whatever the medicine was.  Not long after that, I could still feel the pressure, but not my legs, and was able to sleep for about 20 minutes.  When I woke up, about an hour and a half after the epidural was put in, what I feared would happen had, in fact, happened.  I had gone back to 4 cm and my contractions were about 4 minutes apart.  This started the Pitocin talk.

At this hospital, they do Pitocin “low and slow”, as opposed to loading people up with it like they used to, causing even more intense contractions than regular labor, and sometimes birth defects from the baby being squeezed too hard.  The doctor came in to talk to me about it and assured me that we would start at the lowest dose and check in a half hour to see where I was at.  I knew I  needed to consider it because I was going on 21 hours of labor and although this hospital did not have a hard and fast 24-hours-after-your-water-breaks-this-baby-is-coming-out-one-way-or-another rule (another reason I switched hospitals), I knew I was approaching the point that I’d be taking a risk.  I’m not sure what the science is, but you are risking getting an infection at 24 hours after your water breaks.  After discussing with Tony and Vanessa, I decided Pitocin was the best course of action and again… compromised my plan.  Guilt and fear were weighing on me.  It took at least 30 minutes for them to come give me the Pitocin and once it was in, I was scared as shit.  Within an hour, they came to do an exam and see how I was progressing and I was at 7 cm.  It was certainly doing it’s job and I was starting to feel a pressure that can only be described as needing to take the biggest poop of your life.  By now, Tony and Vanessa were at my side for each Hee-Hee-Hee-Hooooo party, and if they tried to leave, I’d whine for them to come back immediately.  I think it was around this time that they started to give me ice chips in addition to sips of water.  Those ice chips were the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted.  I wanted to start pushing.  The doctor came in and his exam revealed I was at 9.5 cm.  He left his hand in through that last contraction and pulled something that brought me to “complete”, i.e., 10 cm, 100% effaced and whatever the other thing is that means the baby is low enough that you can start pushing.  It was go time.  I was terrified.  My epidural had worn off.

Transition and Delivery:

I ended up pushing for about 40 minutes, and I was literally screaming with each push.  My voice is still hoarse, and I’m slightly concerned that I did some damage.  At about 20 minutes in, the evil blood pressure cuff determined that my blood pressure had gone up to 195/110.  This is seizure/stroke level and is horrifyingly referred to as a “hypertensive episode”.  The doctor was clearly alarmed and kept telling me to stop screaming and to put all of that energy into pushing my baby out.  They pushed 3 doses of a blood pressure medication through my IV, but it barely did anything.  The lowest it got was 185/95, I think.  Tony opted out at this point and was in the corner of the room, facing the wall, drinking juice.  I didn’t actually realize it right away because I was so focused on my job.  With each contraction, the doctor would tell me “Kate, this has to be the it.  He has to come out now.”  He grabbed my hand and had me touch Nolan’s head and told me we were past the point of c-section.  He was coming out the way he was meant to, the way I wanted him to.  It was then that I understood why people opt for c-sections.  While they come with their own set of risks and complications, mostly postpartum, the last two hours of my labor (and what followed) were the most horrifying experience of my life.  A few pushes before it ended, the doctor did a tiny episiotomy, in spite of it being on my birth plan that I did NOT want an episiotomy.  I knew what he’d done immediately and yelled at him, but I realized that in that moment he didn’t have time to talk me into it.  Vanessa had been watching and told me later that he was doing a great job of applying counter-pressure and “holding me together”, and helped me believe that if he hadn’t done that tiny little cut, I would have torn much worse than I did.  I ultimately ended up with just that little cut and a tiny tear.  Quite lucky, or so I’m told.  Two contractions and six pushes later, the doctor told me if he didn’t come out on the next push, he was going to have to do a vacuum assist.  He was about to explain it to me, but I already knew about it and told him just to do it.  Nolan emerged with a little (VERY little) vacuum assist and the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around his neck… twice.  My birth plan stated that I wanted skin to skin contact immediately and delayed cord clamping/cutting so that all of the blood from the placenta could run through the cord to my little man and give him as much nutrients/oxygen/life as possible immediately upon entering this world.  Well, because it was wrapped around his neck, there was no time for clamping and it had to be cut from around his neck immediately and it was like a splatter film.  Blood shot everywhere.  That moment right there (and the fact that this doc was determined to let me deliver vaginally since everything else in my birth plan had gone out the window) is where I am most thankful to the doctor.  Nolan’s heart rate never decelerated at any point during labor, which is amazing considering what was happening to me, so it must have happened right as he was coming out and turning, and the doctor cut that cord within 4 seconds of him coming out.  So thankful.

Post delivery:

You can’t tell me you don’t want to bite that little foot!

Nolan was taken over to the warming table to be assessed, weighed, and measured, while the doc waited for the placenta to be delivered and I got sewn up.  The shift change was at 9:00 p.m., so the doctor that was taking over assisted my doc in sewing me up, which was weird.  It doesn’t seem like a two person job.  The doc that took over at 9p already seemed exhausted and put out, which was annoying.  I foolishly thought I would be done after he was out, but I so wasn’t.  I was so tired and I just wanted to see my baby.  The drama had only just begun.  Immediately after I delivered, they also started me on a drip of Magnesium Sulfate to lower my blood pressure.  Magnesium Sulfate feels like being on fire on the inside.  So awful.

Once the placenta was delivered, they showed it to me.  Yikes.  I love science, and pregnancy and birth are a fucking miracle, but there is also a truly nasty and smelly aspect to it.  And, no, I did not poop on the table.

So, again…  I thought I was about to finally feel some relief and get to hold (and feed) my baby.  No.  I couldn’t relax my legs and I had a pain in my right butt cheek that was radiating up my back and down my leg.  My abdomen was also VERY sore, but I assumed it was just organs moving back into place.  No.  They decided to put the catheter back in (why did they take it out?!) and my epidural had long been unplugged.  I told them no to the catheter and they told me my abdominal pain was likely because my bladder was distended.  Awesome.  So, in the catheter went.  Fun times.  I immediately felt better and Vanessa’s eyeballs nearly exploded when she saw how much came out of me.  Thanks for that, nurses.  I still don’t understand why they’d take it out.  I was still hooked up to an IV for the Magnesium Sulfate and really weak from what I’d just been through, so getting up and going to the bathroom wasn’t really an option.  Ugh.  Unfortunately, this did not solve my butt cheek pain.  When I finally insisted a doctor come in and told him they needed to do something, they re-started my epidural and gave me morphine through my IV.  After the first dose, no relief.  After the second dose, no relief.  I do remember repeatedly saying angrily and whimpery and sometimes crying, “I just want 5 minutes without pain” over and over again, like a delirious person.  I do know that Vanessa put the baby on my chest during this time for just a minute or two, but I barely remember it.  I really hadn’t seen him yet.

It was probably about 3 hours of me complaining of the pain and rolling around in bed trying to get comfortable before the sleepy doctor came in and actually examined me and said he thought I had a hematoma inside my cervix and that could be putting pressure on something that was causing the pain in my butt/leg/back.  The next step would be to do a proper exam with a speculum (keep in mind I had stitches), drain the hematoma, and sew it up and most likely re-do the episiotomy stitches.  The doc came in with the anesthesiologist and told me they could give me pain meds through my IV and see if they could get me comfortable enough to do the exam, but they’d prefer to put me under general anesthesia and take me to the operating room.  Are you fucking kidding me?  I got out of the c-section, only to have to go under general anesthesia and essentially have surgery?!  No! No! No!  I am absolutely terrified of general anesthesia and told them I definitely did not want that and requested they just give me pain meds through the IV.  So they went to town.  I was already on the epidural and two huge doses of morphine.  They added a huge dose of ibuprofen to that (really?  that’s like baby aspirin for me), then 3 doses of fentanyl and 2 doses of lidocaine.  I felt awesome now and started going in and out of sleep.  Sleepy doctor got called into a delivery and by the time he was done, it had all worn off.  Awesome.  They pushed two more doses of lidocaine and another dose of fentanyl and around 1:30 a.m. (about 5 hours after I delivered) they came in and said they wanted to do the exam in the OR because it is just a better room and in case something happened, they’d have the tools they needed there.  The last thing I remember was being moved from my bed to the operating table and then uncontrollably shaking from fear of them putting me under general anesthesia.  The next thing I remember is waking up at 5a in a little recovery area, not knowing where I was or that I had had a baby.  When I woke up, it was from a dream that I was watching a surgery from above and it was like a musical number with dancing and stuff.  LOL.  It only took me a minute or two to come to my senses and I confirmed with the nurse that I had been put under general anesthesia.  I don’t remember them attempting the exam at all.  I was in that area until around 7 am and then finally taken back to my room, where I could order room service and, more importantly, see my baby.  Tony had to give him two bottles of formula overnight, which, again, was not part of the plan.  I finally got to hold my baby and have skin to skin contact 11 hours after he arrived.

Because of the Magnesium Sulfate, which I had to be on for 24 hours, I had to stay another night.  That first night was nuts.  My nurse during the day shift was amazing and taught me how to breast feed and just chatted with me and provided amazing care.   She took the blood pressure cuff off, even though she wasn’t supposed to, and instead came in and manually checked my blood pressure every once in a while.  They took Nolan to the nurse’s station for a couple of hours so that I could get some sleep and during that time, the doctor that delivered Nolan came in and woke me up (grr) to tell me that he was sorry things didn’t go exactly like I’d planned, but that my BP numbers scared the shit out of him.  I groggily told him that I understood.  I mean, he helped me get him here and I know he could have easily pushed for and/or scared me into a c-section at any point during that last half hour.  That was the last I’d see him.  I wish I’d seen him again to thank him more coherently.

The nurse I had that evening was not nearly as warm and attentive as the day time breast feeding guru.  She warmed up to me a bit in the end, but definitely not as good of care.  She did take my catheter out and took me off the Magnesium Sulfate later that night, so a part of me loved her regardless.  She’s also the one that showed me how to care for myself with the glorious peri bottle, Dermaplast and Tucks pads.   What a production.  Holy crap.

We were discharged early the next afternoon, which was fortunate because Tony was beyond ready to get out of there.

And so our new life began… and we had absolutely no idea what we were in for.

About Nolan:

Nolan weighed in at 6 lbs. 3 oz., and 20.3 inches long.  He is a particularly sleepy baby, which makes him a lazy eater, so breast feeding has been a challenge, to say the least.  We’re working on that.

He is a very serious baby and Tony is having a field day taking pictures of him that we just keep laughing at.  Nolan is a side sleeper, like his daddy.  He does sleep on his back, but he seems to sleep more soundly when he rolls over on his side.

Nolan’s likes:  peeing on everything, sleeping, my boobs, when I sing to him (particularly “The Story of Jack and Jill”), the sound of running water, car rides, and the swing that the Mayners let me borrow.

Nolan’s dislikes:  having his diaper changed, being hungry, sponge baths, and the swing that the Mayners let me borrow.

Things I’ve learned so far:

1)  I would never attempt labor without an epidural again.  Natural childbirth is for superheroes, like my Mom and Tianna.

2)  Clothes on a newborn baby boy are pointless.  Just keep ’em naked.  You’ll still be doing laundry ’round the clock, but you won’t have to bother with undressing and re-dressing him every hour.

3)  Just like everyone says, sleep when the baby sleeps.  Still working on this one and adjusting to not having time to do anything.

4)  Prepare to have little to no control over anything.  Just when I think I’ve discovered a pattern, he changes overnight.

5)  Breast feeding is much harder than people let on.  The biggest challenge so far, for sure.

6)  There is absolutely no love like a mother’s love for her baby.  Nothing like it.

Posted in health, human growing, Nolan, whiney baby poopy pants | 11 Comments »


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